My angel
by shinigamiinochi
Summary: 1x2, since Duo's boyfriend's death, he has been unable to draw, but that all changes once he sees an angel in a field.
1. Chapter 1

My Angel

Pairings: 1+2, R+1, past 6+2

Warnings: AU, language, angst, attempted NCS, lemon, some violence, death (not Heero or Duo)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Duo is a struggling manga artist who has lost all inspiration. Then, one night, he sees an angel in a field.

Chapter 1: Sighting

          Duo managed to draw his sixth character sketch before throwing his pencil down in disgust.

          "This is pointless," he muttered. He desperately looked around his studio in his apartment which was cluttered with papers and art supplies. He tried so hard to feel it, that spark of inspiration, which used to come so easily before, but now seemed so far away, yet just out of reach. He sighed. After writing three popular manga series that totaled over forty volumes, you would think this would be easy, but ever since the accident, it felt as though his heart was empty. Duo ran a hand through his auburn hair. His next door neighbors kept pressuring him to go see a therapist, but he didn't have the money for it and he didn't want to go. Quatre and Trowa meant well, but they were so nosey! If it weren't for Duo's initial reaction to the accident, Quatre would be forcing him to every club he knew, trying to find him a date. But, what Duo needed right now was not another boyfriend. He had been seeing Zechs for only three months, but his death still hurt. At first, when he had gotten a phone call that his boyfriend had been hit by a truck when the driver had fallen asleep at the wheel, he had cried and sobbed, locking himself in his room and cutting off all human contact. But then, three weeks later, he was… over it. He felt heartless and an overwhelming sense of guilt about that. How could he be so cold? But no matter how hard he tried, he felt emotionless about it. He now felt a horrible emptiness, which had always been there; Zechs' death had only caused to bring it out full force. He supposed that is he really thought about it, he had never cared for Zechs. Yes, he was beautiful, but he had never truly gotten into the relationship. So then, why did it hurt so much? It was the loneliness. And the knowledge that yet another person had left him all alone. If he thought for even longer, he would find that he believed that everyone would leave him eventually, that he was destined to be alone. But then again, he had stopped believing in god and destiny a long time ago. He sighed again, this time more deeply.

          "I guess I'll go for a walk," he murmured to no one for once. Not even Shini was here to listen to his ramblings, but he was used to talking to his walls. He grabbed his usual black t-shirt and blue jeans, strapping his black watch to his thin wrist.

          'Note to self: walk for an hour; go to convenience store and get ramen and soda.' As he exited his apartment, he looked around nervously. No one was around.

          'Good, coast is clear.' He walked briskly towards the elevator.

          "DUO!" Duo winced as he heard his neighbor call out to him in a, in his opinion, overly cheerful voice.

          Right across from his apartment lived Trowa Barton and Quatre Winner. Trowa was a doctor, a vet to be exact, and usually minded his own business, unlike his significant other. He and Duo had an unspoken understanding of each other. They would often get a bagel in the morning together and when Shini got sick, Trowa was the first person he went to. Quatre, however, was a different story. He meant well, but because of his rampant worry and nurturing personality, he needed to know everything that as going on. Still, duo let him know when to back-off. Quatre used to belong to a rather rich family, but they disowned him as soon as they had learned about his relationship with Trowa. Surprisingly, he hadn't cared too much.

          "If I had to choose," Quatre had told Duo, "between my wealth and Trowa, I would always choose Trowa." Sappy, but true. Duo knew that if it had ever come between Zechs and his art, there wouldn't have been an issue, Zechs would have had to go.

          "I wish had a relationship like that," Duo would often think when he was around them. Quatre actually worked in the same publishing company that published Duos books. He had a comfortable relationship with the blonde, but when he wanted to be alone, he was such a nuisance. Times like, well, now.

          "Duo! Where are you going?" Duo Quatre queried as soon as he came within talking distance.

          "A walk and to get some dinner." Quatre frowned.

          "Duo! Please tell me you're not eating ramen noodles again!" Duo blushed. Guilty as charged.

          "Duo, please promise me you'll get something decent for once! A steak or something; I know you can cook. Heck, I'm going to come over when you get back and make sure you didn't get anything that requires a microwave, you hear me?" Duo nodded sheepishly.

          "Ok, ok, I'll cook tonight. Hey, why don't you and Trow come over for dinner later? Six o'clock?" Quatre brightened.

          "Alright! You know how I love your cooking!" Duo waved him goodbye and hurried towards the elevator before he could be stopped again.

          About a twenty minute walk from his apartment was a beautiful field filled with wildflowers. He normally couldn't go there with Quatre and Trowa because of Quatre's allergies and often went just to relax and be alone. Tonight was chilly and awfully windy, much to Duo's disappointment. He shouldn't have chanced it and brought a jacket. He was about to turn around when he saw a bluish-red light coming from the middle of the field. He clenched his fist.

          'Fucking kids! If they're starting fires again, this time I'll smack them around myself! Stupid parents! "They're not doing anything wrong", my ass! Destroying such beautiful flowers, have they no respect?!' He ran over to where he saw the light, and then stopped dead in his tracks. His first impulse was to run. Run back to reality and try to convince him that he was exhausted and hallucinating. But the artist in him kept him from budging. He silently wished that he had brought his sketchpad. He simply stood there and stared at the apparition before him.  The fierce wind whipped his chocolate-colored hair and the white robes he wore around fiercely, yet the pure white, downy wings which sprouted in huge, delicate arcs from his clothed back were unmoved.

          The light, which surrounded the ethereal had turned to a deep blue which accented his slightly tan skin and cobalt blue eyes, which seemed as deep as the lake a few feet away from the edge of the field.

End Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

My Angel

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Man, I have been way too productive lately, I think I'm scaring my friends. I blame it on Nanowrimo.

          Duo awoke with sunlight burning into his eyes, which he was not used to since he never opened his shades, even in the day. With a squeak, he fell out of bed and landed in a clutter of paper. He rubbed at his head indignantly. Had he gotten drunk or something? He usually didn't feel so fuzzy and well rested in the morning. Though, he didn't usually drink alcohol as he was afraid that he might turn into an alcoholic or a violent drunk. He had heard stories about struggling artists turning to alcohol and drugs for inspiration and did not want to be one of those artists. He desperately tried to remember what had happened last night. He had gone out and saw a fire in the field. Or at least he had assumed it was a fire, but instead, all he saw was a bright light then… then… Duo thought harder. Then someone fell from the sky. No, not fell, floated. Someone with a beautiful face and pure white wings. Duo shook his head and laughed at himself. He had to have been drunk. Even if he believed in God or Heaven, which he didn't, just the idea of seeing an angel made Duo consider checking himself into a health clinic. Still, the angel had been gorgeous…

          Suddenly, for the first time in awhile, Duo had the urge to draw. Duo rushed to his desk and sat, grabbing pencils. He didn't care if he had dreamed it or not, the angel had been a miracle, even if it was just all in his head.

          Trowa sighed again as he and Quatre walked to Duo's door.

          "We shouldn't be bothering him," Trowa tried to convince his lover, "He's been very busy and he has deadlines."

          "He hasn't drawn anything in weeks," Quatre protested, "What he needs is to get back on the dating scene. What happened to Zechs made him stop drawing, but once he finds someone else, everything will be back to normal."

          Trowa bit his lip to keep from criticizing Quatre. That wasn't the truth at all. Yes, Duo had stopped drawing after Zechs had died, but Trowa understood that it was mourning that was affecting Duo's talent, but guilt. Even if he was in mourning, more dating was not going to cure it. Duo needed to figure things out on his own and Trowa didn't think that them stopping by every hour to check on him was going to improve Duo's drawing block. Trowa thought all of these things, but did not say anything. He rather liked sleeping in bed and not on the couch. Quatre meant well, but he was always so concerned with making things perfect and fixing people, he ended up interfering in situations that needed to fix themselves. And yet, here they were, knocking on Duo's door once more. Trowa was instantly worried when he heard cursing and it took a good five minutes for Duo to answer the door. Trowa understood why Quatre was so insistent on looking after Duo. That first week after the funeral had been brutal. Duo had been… well, not suicidal, but not mentally fit, either. More like subtlety self destructive. But, as time went on, Duo had gotten better. Sure, he was still caught in a dark spiral of depression, but this was more because of the fact that he could no longer draw and being lonely with no one in his apartment than outright angst at Zechs' death. Duo was not a cold person. Trowa knew that Duo was still sad about his boyfriend's death, but they had not been close like Trowa and Quatre were and Trowa was confident that Duo would get over it. Right now he was more worried about Duo's artistic skills. It was not so much his inability to make money as it was just the act of drawing. Duo had gone through a lot of abandonment in his life. His parents had dropped him off at an orphanage when he was six and had never come back for him or even visited. The orphanage had shut down after the two owners had died from a drive by shooting and the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to stay open. That was the problem with living in such a poor area. Crimes like that happened every day. After being bounced from one abusive foster family to the next, Duo gave up and ran to the streets. He had just narrowly escaped being a prostitute or common druggy thug when one of Quatre's fellow editors had discovered one of Duo's murals on an alley wall and had sought him out. Duo had been leery at first, but once he had drawn a few sketches for the man and the man had given him a contract and a paycheck, Duo's doubts flew out the window. Duo drew like a victim of abuse would attack a punching bag. Quatre had once complained that he had never seen Duo crying, but he didn't need to. His art was his tears. He poured all of his fears and insecurities into his drawings. So now, when he couldn't draw, it was all getting backed up again like a bubble of pus in an organ. Also, Shini had been missing for three days now. Duo was worried about his cat, but even though he had put up missing posters, no one had found her. It was actually Quatre's fault and he felt so bad about it. Duo had asked him to check up on her when he had gone grocery shopping as the cat had the tendency to chew on weird things. Quatre had gone into Duo's apartment, but then heard his own phone ring and had run back to his room, leaving Duo's door wide open. When Quatre had gone back, the cat was nowhere to be found. When Quatre had begged Duo for forgiveness, saying he would buy him another cat, Duo had exploded. He had had the childish, but understandable reaction: "I don't want another cat, I want my cat!" Then, Duo had started to cry which was a rare and startling sight. Neither of them blamed Duo, Shini was his only companion besides Trowa and Quatre and the cat had never abandoned him before. It was like all of the other relationships in his life, things were going great and Duo was loving the person or creature so unconditionally, but then they would abandon him when he needed them the most. Trowa honestly didn't know what they were going to do if they never found the black cat.

          The door finally opened and Duo peaked out. Trowa and Quatre were stunned by his appearance. For one, his eyes were shining with life and there was a grin on his face, another thing was that he was covered in paint and there was even a little smidge of blue on his nose.

          "Can I help you?" He asked impatiently.

          "Duo, what's going on?" Quatre asked. Duo hopped from foot to foot like he had to pee.

          "Um, I'm kinda working on a project right now, so if you don't need anything, could you come back later, like, much later?"

          Trowa had seen this side of Duo before. Once the longhaired American got started on something big, he didn't want to stop. He said that stopping for even so much as a glass of water would interrupt his 'flow'. When they tried to talk to him during one of these grand projects, he would act impatient and at times, rude, though they both knew he didn't mean to be, it was just how Duo worked. Trowa smiled reassuringly at Duo.

          "Duo that's great!" Quatre squealed in happiness. Trowa pulled his hyperactive lover away from the door.

          "We won't bother you until you're done and I'm proud of you, Duo," Trowa said. Duo's grin grew.

          "Thanks!" He said and slammed the door shut. They could hear him on the other side running back to whatever he was doing. They walked back to their own apartment and Trowa vowed to make Duo the apple pie he liked so much as a celebration.

          "See?" He told Quatre, "Everything's fine, now." Quatre crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

          "Yeah, but I still say that he needs to get laid."

          "_Quatre!"_

End Chapter 2

No, Heero is not a figment of Duo's imagination. Yes, Heero will be showing up in the next chapter.  


End file.
